Thirteen Things the Government Doesn’t Want You to Know about Blackbirds

Blackbird detail 1280px-psm_v84_d214_flocking_habit_of_migratory_birds_fig1

1.
New rule in your city:
Everything you know about blackbirds
Is about to change.

2.
The blackbird told me
One simple trick
To get the IRS off my back.

3.
Check out these
Hilarious blackbird fails!

4.
Revealed: secrets
Of the world’s richest blackbirds.

5.
Click here to view
Celebrity nude blackbirds!!!

6.
I am Nigerian prince
Recently come to possession
Of substantial Blackbirds.
Transmission of a small sum
To pay Customs duty
Enables their release to you.

7.
Watch how this chance meeting
Between two blackbirds
Erupts into violence.

8.
The unblinking eye
Of the blackbird
Is our last bulwark
Against terrorism.

9.
Here are six wild predictions
That came true
About a blackbird.

10.
Yes! Yes!
Blackbird!

11.
Red wing; black bird;
The all-in-all.
It takes millions of colors
To make this clear
So buy a new phone now

12.
Secret brain pill blackbirds are using
May soon let them
Replace humans.

13.
True science:
This blackbird
Kept in a sealed box
Was both alive and dead
And neither.

 

 

Images: Directions by Flickr user Hat4Rain, published under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0) license; Figure 1 from C. C. Trowbridge: On the origin of the flocking habit of migratory birds. The Popular science monthly, Volume 84, p.211. New York, Popular Science Pub. Co., March 1914.

Go, NaPoWriMo!

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4 thoughts on “Thirteen Things the Government Doesn’t Want You to Know about Blackbirds

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